Bare: Love it all
If there is one thing in the world I am most passionate about, it would be the power of self love and how, in learning simple acts of kindness for yourself, you are able to give back tenfold to the people in your life.
There is an unfounded notion that to cultivate self love means acts of ‘selfishness’. That the two are synonymous when, in fact, they couldn’t be MORE different if they tried to be.
But I get it. I used to be that person myself.
I learned from the role models in my life that in order to be a ‘good’ and kind person, I should put every single person in my life first – hell, even my dog came before myself.
This created a vicious cycle of saying yes to things I wasn’t truly invested in, spending time with people who were draining and toxic to my energy, and even participating it outings/events/social occasions when all I truly wanted to be doing was resting on the couch.
After years of putting every person in my life before myself, my body gave out from underneath me. Literally. It was like it was saying – look Hollie, we know you aren’t going to listen to us, so we are going to make it IMPOSSIBLE for you to do anything. Not even the stuff you really WANT to be doing.
My diagnosis with adrenal fatigue (read: severe burnout) lead to me becoming the person I never wanted to be. I missed best friend’s birthdays. I had to nap in the office at work to get through each day. I was no longer allowed to train at the gym. I couldn’t support my partner, or see my family or friends, because just the act of getting off the couch was too much to bear. I became a burden. And it was totally avoidable.
The irony was, one of the key reasons I had gotten to this place was a desire to not appear selfish – to not put myself first. In not putting myself first – my health, both mental and physical – deteriorated rapidly, and I was no good to anyone in my life.
When I speak to mother’s especially about self love, it is like they cannot comprehend how looking after themselves first and foremost, could possibly impact their children in a positive way.
It is EVERYTHING.
A burned out, stressed and sick mother is no good to anyone – not their children, not their partner, not their friends and definitely not themselves.
Just like a worn down, sleep deprived colleague is no good to be around.
It is high time we recognise that self love, making time for simple acts of joy every single day, is paramount to us being the best friend, partner and parent we can be.
The analogy goes like this – you cannot give from an empty cup. Yet this is what we try to do time and time again.
Rather, work on getting your cup overflowing – because you will have plenty to give from here.
And don’t tell me you don’t have time for self love – it can be 5 minutes of your day. Ideas include:
- A warm bath with candles and essential oils
- Enjoying a herbal tea and your favourite organic dark chocolate
- Saying NO (with love) to that outing you really don’t want to go to, and chill at home instead (because rest is SO important)
- Take yourself off for a walk to get your limbs moving and fresh air into your lungs
- Enjoy a date night with your partner just because
Make time for self love every single day and watch how it changes the way you show up with your loved ones. Trust me when I say, they will love you, for loving you.